Moving!

Hard to believe, but we are finally moving to Portland at the end of March!

Here's a pic of our new house. We love:

the front porch (but might have to tear down the wisteria-covered railing and put up something nicer/wood)
beautiful remodeled kitchen with french doors leading out to the huge deck
great wood staircase
a fireplace - finally we have a place to put Christmas stockings!
beautiful bathrooms, tiled, claw foot tubs
finished basement
tons of space!

Plus, it is in PORTLAND!

Now the packing begins.

fever

Poor little guy has his first cold, and a temp of 100. He is congested and coughing. Asleep on my lap right now. He may feel crummy but he's still doing his little sleep smiles.

The doctor remarked on his long eyelashes. Handsome boy!

Maybe it's the nice weather we are having, but we had three people looking at our house today. Just somebody make an offer! (a good one!)

Happy Friday!

So grateful to be working from home - yesterday, August rolled over for the first time! I put him down on his back in his little gym and left the room for a minute. John and I came back into the family room and the big boy was on his stomach!

So far so good

Our first three daycare days were a success. Monday I was an absolute wreck, couldn't stop crying. Red, puffy eyes and tears when I dropped him off. Yaneth, the daycare woman, was so so sweet - she has kids of her own - and totally understood my misery. Of course, August was smiling the whole time and seemed totally chill with the whole thing.

I had to pull over after I dropped him off to catch my breath, and was still crying when I got to the office. My colleagues were great. There were beautiful flowers from Leslie in my office. I managed to pull it together, but still had visions of August crying at daycare. Had my first pumping-milk-at-work experience. Went fine, and I'm grateful I have my own office. I can't imagine having to trek to the bathroom every couple hours to pump. It's bad enough as it is!

Around 2:00 I left to pick up the boy. When I got there he was happy as a clam. SUCH a relief. When we got home he couldn't stop talking, like he had so much to tell us about his day. Most of the kids at this in-home daycare are around 2 or 3, so I think August likes watching the big kids. And maybe it's cool for him to see new things, be in a different place, who knows.

Oh, and he NAPS at daycare. What?! That was my biggest fear, because I thought he couldn't nap/sleep without nursing. Well, apparently not. So that is also a big relief. I need to ask Yaneth what her secret is...

Tues and Wed also went well, same thing - he's just a happy, secure, content little guy. I'm sure there will be bad/fussy days, but I think we're off to a good start.

Of course, it's still hard for me -- I miss him so much during the day (which is why I've been picking him up at 2 every day!) Luckily today and Friday I work from home, so I get him all to myself. Still trying to figure out the whole work-balance thing.

bath time

How cute is he?!

The 18 pounder

He weighs 18 pounds! I just weighed him.

Here are some new videos from December and January.

We visited the daycare yesterday just to reconnect, and so John could meet them. It's a good place and I'm feeling as good as can be expected about the whole thing. I can't believe my leave ends on Monday and it's back to work. What a magical almost four months this has been. I'm a different person. We are blessed beyond belief. I sometimes look at August and have to keep focusing, telling myself, Yes, he is real! He is here, he is right here in your arms. Oh, my sweet baby boy.

So, other than trying to get the boy to nap on a relatively regular basis-- and not attached to my breast-- we've been having fun watching the Australian Open and being out in the sunshine. I'm heading over to a neighbor's house in a bit - her baby is August's age. We put them on the floor together and watch them flail and grab each other. Very cute.

Cranky

The morning didn't start out great. I drove August up to the tire place to get our tire patched, then walked him home in his stroller -- hoping he'd fall asleep for his morning nap. Also hoping John would have a smoothie waiting for me when I got home (he got a blender for Christmas and healthy smoothies made by my wonderful husband have become our morning routine).

No smoothie. I was hungry and cranky. And, August hadn't fallen asleep. He was fussy. So I nursed him, getting crankier because I was HUNGRY. Annoyed, I got up and made myself peanut butter toast (while still nursing). Maybe I was being melodramatic, but who cares. Then I decided to take the dogs for our morning walk - usually that is what gets August to nap.

So off we went, and the sun was out so I decided to make it a long walk. Plus, I needed to burn off my crankiness. August fell asleep relatively quickly. All good. But, as soon as we were about 45 mins out, guess who starts to cry. I kept going, thinking the motion would quickly lull him back to sleep.

No.

Crying intensified to screaming. So awful that I stopped and picked him up, tried to console him.

No.

Found a random tree stump at the edge of somebody's yard, told the dogs to sit, and tried to nurse him.

No.

Put him back in the stroller and started fast-walking toward home. Still screaming. Stopped again, picked him up, and pushed the empty stroller and two dogs while carrying him. Not an easy thing to do! Especially on hills.

He was still fussing when we got home. Tried nursing him and finally that worked.

And 20 minutes later he was all smiles.

What was going on? Is he teething? What? He is so rarely like that, and usually nursing calms him right down.

Anyway, I realized at the root of my crankiness is stress about going back to work. Worrying whether August will nap, if he'll cry, whether they'll be able to console him. Will they engage with him when he smiles, or will they be too busy? Will they hold him when he cries? I can't bear the thought of him crying alone.

The day got better. When I walked back to the tire place to pick up the car, he fell asleep and had a good nap in the stroller. I stopped at the used bookstore and got two books. I didn't have cash, just a debit card, but the owner said nevermind, just take them for free. How nice is that? Who does that? (I'm a regular customer, but still!)

And I'm reading a good book on baby sleep, to try to get August into a good groove. He's actually a great sleeper - once he's asleep. Problem is, he needs to nurse to sleep, or fall asleep in my arms. Adorable and sweet and I love it, but not a good long-term strategy,

When we got home from the tire place, John made me a smoothie. And as I type this, he is gearing up to make a delicious dinner -- like he does every night.